那時是個玩笑話
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但朋友們也跟著開了玩笑
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不過是眼前一亮
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不過是一面之緣的映像
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我以為世界上沒有比這更安全的事
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可每次見到她
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仍然會偷偷地注視
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就像一個堅固的石頭,有了裂縫
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那感覺在我心裡漸漸越盛越滿
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孩子看到了餅乾偷偷地吃
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我則偷偷的看著她平靜的樣子
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像是日常
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像是喝水
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什麼都沒發生卻竟有所獲得
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一天天過去
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卻癮頭上來
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這到底是「中年」,
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還是「她」
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我分不清楚。
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如果有平行宇宙,
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「怎麼了?」我想這樣問她。
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不管她說什麼,都好
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我看重的是
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我們的空間裡,越走越慢的時間
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與逐漸同步的呼吸
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我治療她,
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她也治療了我,
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什麼都沒發生,
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只有記憶,肥了一點
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肥了什麼?
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忘了。
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我只知道她站在身邊
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與那燈光閃爍下平靜的側臉
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沒錯,像一幅畫
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沒錯,當時偶爾昏暗
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沒錯,我們很靠近
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但,這種距離⋯⋯
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卻什麼都沒發生過
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沒發生過,
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我卻在輾轉的夜裡,甦醒
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透過天花板
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望著那個側臉
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同時,苦思著
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平行宇宙那邊的我們
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在聊什麼?
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