大家好我是范希
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2013年最後一篇文章
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我還是要跟溫民在一起wwwwwwww
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雖然現實生活中我愛李珍基大於愛李泰民非常多
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可是在文章裡我一向優待李泰民
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原因呢
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可能是因為我向來善待受君+虐待攻君(?????)
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這篇其實我有想過他的綽號
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但我覺得說出來會被妳們笑
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文章尾再說好了XDDDD
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以下吃早餐劇情
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正文請服用
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-----------------------------------
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第二天早上天剛亮李泰民就醒了,他記得他跟李珍基約了七點吃早點,原本他還想,如果賴床就放李珍基鴿子,但他可恨的生物鐘永遠都這麼準。
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打理好了自己一身,李泰民抓著手機鑰匙錢包出門,李珍基已經在樓下等他了。
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「大哥,您這是多早起才能這時間在這裡?」
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「呵,因為昨晚心情好啊。」
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這下李泰民抓到李珍基的邏輯了,在這裡是因為早起,早起是因為睡飽了,睡飽是因為睡的好,睡得好是因為昨晚心情好,至於心情好...大概是因為有炸雞吃吧。
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李泰民很無奈,李泰民很不捨得他的腦袋,他竟然被李珍基的思路同化了,唉......。
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不管了,腦子先別管,肚子要緊,「走唄,早餐想吃什麼?」
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「吃......雞排堡。」
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「又吃炸雞?」究竟是有多愛吃雞肉,昨天才吃了一桶雞肉,不會今天三餐也都吃雞肉吧。
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但李珍基只是露出理所當然的表情,「不好嗎?雞肉很好吃啊。」
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這是哪門子的道理?好吃就多吃,那身體哪受得了,「你沒變胖真是奇蹟。」
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「呵,那你應該早幾年認識我。」
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意思是說早幾年就胖過了?
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「有照片留下嗎?」
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「有啊,下次再說吧,我餓了。」
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「呵!好,吃飯皇帝大,咱們先來去作皇帝。」再不吃,他五臟廟就要舞龍舞獅了。
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「那......朕要加一杯可可。」
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「行,您要兩杯都行。」李泰民體悟,李珍基果然是卡通人物,不是正常人,活在他身邊就要學著當卡通人物。
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進了早餐店,李泰民讓李珍基去找座位,自己去點餐結帳,好死不死討人厭的傢伙靠在櫃台邊結帳,轉頭就看到他。
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「泰民你......。」
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不等崔珉豪說完,李泰民不耐煩的開口打斷:「什麼你你你我我我的,老子今天沒空跟你瞎扯。」就算有空也不想跟你扯。
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「你...有事?」
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「對,老子日理萬機一秒鐘幾千萬上下時間用千分之一秒來算的沒空搭理你。」
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李泰民慣性的心情不好就說話不帶標點,但崔先生很明顯的沒有察覺,或者是故意性的不察覺。
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「是工作嗎?還是有課?要去哪裡?要不要我順便載你過去。」
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煩不煩啊你!
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李泰民火炸了,但礙於人在公共場所,他不想發飆嚇死一堆老老小小,他決定借用李珍基,反正多塞塊炸雞,李珍基會同意的。
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「不順不順一點都不順,老子要跟男朋友甜甜蜜蜜恩恩愛愛去約會你滾遠一點少來當三兆瓦電燈泡。」
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果然,關鍵字祭出,崔先生就有反應了,那眉頭皺得多緊.眼睛瞪得多大。
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「男朋友?」
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「對,不然你以為老子胃口多大吃兩份早餐兩杯飲料還加一份點心。請你不要再煩我了我男朋友會吃醋。」
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崔先生你能不能趕快閃,我一點都不想跟你鬥嘴啊!
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「泰民,怎麼了?」李泰民轉頭,看到李珍基一臉疑惑的看他慢吞吞,雖然他也不是自願慢的,不過既然李珍基來了就將計就計好了。
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李泰民拉住李珍基的手,擠眉弄眼暗示李珍基,「Sorry,剛好碰到一個以前的朋友,餐點好了,我們回去等吧。」
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從李珍基走來的角度剛好擋住了崔珉豪,所以他沒發現,但他走近了看到崔珉豪和李泰民的樣子就明白了。
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於是他決定好人做到底,配合李泰民演一場好戲。
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他對崔珉豪點點頭,「你好。」然後就徹底無視他。
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「聊完了嗎?沒事我們就回去吧,否則位置都讓人占了。」李珍基伸手摟住李泰民的肩膀,將他往反方向帶。
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「泰民,你......。」
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崔珉豪不死心,伸手拉住李泰民,但李泰民甩開了他,這下真的要炸了,「崔珉豪你夠了喔不要那麼不識相在大庭廣眾丟人現眼。」
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李泰民轉身打算直接跟崔珉豪掐架,讓他知道自己不識好惹的,但李珍基摟住他的腰,把他拉到自己身旁,狀似親密,「乖,別這樣,走了。」
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雖然看起來像是李珍基從背後摟著李泰民,實際上卻是李珍基箝制住快要爆衝的李泰民。
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但不管如何,李珍基都不打算讓李泰民在這裡上演暴力場面,崔珉豪個頭高魁,一看也知道李泰民死定了。
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李珍基對眼睛快冒火的崔珉豪笑了笑,「先生,不好意思,我們等等還有事,不多聊了。」
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然後強硬的把李泰民拉走,留崔珉豪在原地氣得快冒煙。
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---------------------------------------
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回到座位後,李泰民對李珍基不滿了,「吼!你拉什麼啦!老子要揍扁他!」
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李珍基十分不屑,「少來,你這乾乾扁扁的,等著當沙包吧。何況你把我當擋箭牌也沒經過我同意啊。」
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聽李珍基這麼說,李泰民瞬間不好意思發火了,「呃,對啦......所以我多點了一盤炸雞塊。」
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聽到炸雞塊,李珍基笑了,「呵,那好。」果然有了炸雞,一切好談。
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餐點送上來後,他們倆邊吃邊聊今天的行程,李珍基說他整天都沒事,李泰民只要沒課就是沒事,工作他愛做不做都行。
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「呵,要不要去逛街?我朋友開店了,剛開幕在打折呢。」
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是個好主意,但......「好啊,可是開店也要中午之後,早上要幹嘛去?」
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「去吵鐘鉉他們。」
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這是最佳決定,李泰民表示完全同意。
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不過他又想到一件事,「欸,你還是什麼都不問嗎?」
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吃個早餐發生這麼多事,他不認為李珍基能完全不放在心上。
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李珍基微笑著搖搖頭,「你也真是的,明明我問了你也不會告訴我,何必呢。」
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啊,李珍基是對的,所以李泰民沉默了。
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還是說......其實李泰民希望李珍基能問他呢?說不定李珍基問他,他就會說了。但他明明覺得那些事很難堪的啊。
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「欸李珍基,我們改天再去找二金,你陪我回家好不好?」
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李泰民覺得他需要好好靜一下,但他又不想一個人。
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「好,等等去超市買點食材,午餐在你家吃吧。」
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李珍基說要自己煮?李泰民懷疑了,「你會煮嗎?」
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「餓不死的程度。」
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「餓不死......那會不會拉肚子啊?」李泰民合理懷疑。
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「呵呵.不會啦。」
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「那......我想吃拉麵。」
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「好啊,那我們吃完就走吧。」
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---------------------------------------
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兩人解決了早餐,李泰民要向門口走,卻被李珍基曳住了。
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李泰民不明白這個舉動,皺著眉頭對李珍基叫道:「你幹嘛啊你!」
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對於李泰民的火爆,李珍基十分淡定指了門邊露出的半個身體,「他從剛剛就等在那裡。」
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李泰民一看,那衣服果然是崔珉豪,媽呀這守株待兔的傢伙,到底什麼時候才要放過他。
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「那.....怎麼辦?」門口就一個,總不能跳窗子出去吧?
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李珍基想了想,拉著李泰民到櫃台,跟老闆大叔說:「大叔,不好意思,我們碰到了小混混,他在門口等著要抓我們,能借你們的後門出去嗎?」
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小混混?李珍基說的好啊,崔珉豪那瞅著臉的樣子真的有像。
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「真的?」老闆一臉驚訝,好心的建議:「需不需要幫你們報警?」
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「謝謝大叔,後門借我們溜走就好了,不用報警。」
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報警也沒用,他不偷不搶,只是等著搶人。
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「好沒問題。從這過去,有扇鐵門,就是通到後院的,你們從那走吧。」
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「好,謝謝大叔。」
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李泰民被李珍基拉著從後門出了早餐店,無奈的看著李珍基那張一笑起來人畜無害,彷彿職業為善者的豆腐臉。
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就算他去拿炸彈炸毀美國聯邦政府,全球大搜查也不會查到他身上吧。
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「我服了你,說謊說得臉不紅氣不喘,還一臉真誠無比。」八成測謊儀都拿他沒轍。
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「呵呵,好說好說,我覺得我沒說謊啊。」
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意指崔珉豪是小混混?
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「哈!是囉,不過你生這附皮相,本來就是來欺騙世人。」
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明明是溫文儒雅一本正經的乖乖牌長相,誰知道他腦子裡都裝豆腐渣,全都是鬼點子和四次元的邏輯。
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李珍基又笑得陽光燦爛,「那你被騙了嗎?」
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李泰民懵了,不了解是因為面陽的刺眼還是李珍基亮的刺眼。
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但他還有理智,所以他很快就回神了,「你......真的是個大騙子。」
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騙什麼就是什麼。裝豆腐是豆腐.裝太陽是太陽,連裝男朋友,都讓他差點有「如果是真的就好了」的想法。
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真是個大騙子。
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「多謝誇獎。」
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這算什麼誇獎?不過被騙好像也不是什麼壞事,至少李珍基的手很暖,冬天很適用。
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「李珍基,一盤炸雞能讓你當多久的假男友?」
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李珍基貌似很認真的思考,「唔......十三天吧?」
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「這麼久?」他想頂多半天,而且他沒想到李珍基會認真回答。
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李珍基還是一臉認真,「不好嗎?」
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李泰民沒回答,只是笑了笑,拉著李珍基進了超市。
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---------------------------------------
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「味噌拉麵不是要加豆腐?」
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「那是味噌湯吧,不過你要加也可以啦。」
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李珍基說著,伸手拿了一盒板豆腐,丟進已經裝滿食材的購物車。
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李泰民是料理白癡,對於食材的了解,就是他看得到的東西,連調味料也分不清楚,所以對於李珍基不用拿食譜就知道要買什麼,他覺得無比神奇。
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「您老好賢惠,可以嫁了。」
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「呵,嫁誰呢?」
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「嫁我吧,我缺個小媳婦當瑪麗亞。」其他不必,會作家務活就行了。
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「好啊。」李珍基毫不考慮的點頭。
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「呵,沒想到我人生第一次求婚就這樣成功了。」還意外的成功,花了一盤炸雞塊就成。
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「恭喜啊。」
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「恩哼。」
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李泰民微微笑著,玩笑的也好,認真的也好,好久沒有人陪著他,就兩天的時間讓他先依賴一下這個人。
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-------------------------------------
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我剛剛回想了我2013年的寫作歷程
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那真是在豆腐渣裡撈出一點湯豆腐(?)
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先來個本章金句吧
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今天的金句來自李泰民:
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『您老好賢惠,可以嫁了。』
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由於是今年最後一天
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再讓李泰民來一句吧:
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『嫁我吧,我缺個小媳婦當瑪麗亞。』
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李泰民你好直接XDDDD
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(李珍基表示:我願意!)
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年尾出個求婚戲碼算仁至義盡了吧?
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相信我.2014年我會給你們一些突破的......
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然後我覺得一定會被吐槽的綽號:
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大怪胎V.S小廢物
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我花了三秒鐘想出來的
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但我花了三天的時間確定我沒有更好的選擇XD
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